AOC’s F-Bomb on the House Floor was Impressive, But Cheney Did it First

AOC stood on the shoulders of giants when she used the ‘fuck’ word on House floor.

By Captain Crunk

If you need a good distraction from pandemic, economic turmoil, and civil unrest, the drama between Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Republican Congressman Ted Yoho is premium escapism. It all began when AOC made the seemingly simple connection between economic downturn and people seeking food. It is basically an absolute historical certainty that populations will steal food or resources when they need them. Americans are not acclimated to intermittent shortages of food supplies like the countries we invade are. You can not argue with the universe when it finds it appropriate to give us a taste of the conditions we impose on the rest of the world. C’mon y’all. 

This illustrious story begins Monday when AOC had the gall to say “Maybe this has to do with the fact that people aren’t paying their rent and are scared to pay their rent and so they go out, and they need to feed their child and they don’t have money…so they feel like they either need to shoplift some bread or go hungry.”

Evidently, the assertion that broke people will steal food irked Yoho enough to call Cortez a “ fucking bitch”, “disgusting”, and “out of her freaking mind.” I think it is clear that Yoho is the bitch in this instance. 

Not to be outdone, AOC took to the house floor for a beautifully executed 3:00 minute orchestra of virtue signalling. Yet moral posturing is not new on her part. It was the masterfully delivered recount of the ‘fucking bitch’ language that broke the ‘fucking’ glass ceiling. F-Bombs were previously reserved for white men who sought to flex their unending privilege with nasty language in a congressional setting. AOC has surely broken down some real barriers by saying ‘fuck’ on the house floor. Our exhaustive research can not find another instance where a woman, particularly a woman of color, has broken this taboo. AOC, we see you, We hear you.

Nonetheless, every barrier is broken down by ‘the innovator.’ Long before the rock and roll phenomena known as the ‘British Invasion’, Little Richard and other rhythm and blues artists were making identical music. So goes the F-Bomb on the house floor — and that pioneering grand architect was none other than Darth Vader himself ; Vice President Dick Cheney. 

Cheney is an ‘asshole’s asshole.’ The kind of motherfucker that will drag a country into an illegal war, kill 1.5 million Iraqis, and make a small (big) fortune doing it. The aforementioned series of events reached an apex one fine day on the House floor in 2004. Fresh off the heels of invasion, mismanaging the greatest blunder in U.S. foreign policy, and dodging accusations of war profiteering, Cheney was approached by Democratic Senator Patrick Leahy and asked about his Halliburton war profiteering and failure to approve fellow Catholic judicial appointments. In an interview with Dennis Miller’s radio show, which is apparently something ‘people’ listen to, Cheney fondly recalled the moment as “one of my favorite stories.” After being berated by Leahy, Cheney replied “Go fuck yourself ” and then casually walked off. It was a move his base loved and Cheny gushed about it “You’d be surprised how many people liked that. It’s sort of the best thing I ever did.” 

Now, we take nothing away from Cortez’ deft dismantling of douche-fuck Yoho but game must recognize game. Dick Cheney said the F-word and immediately walked away. No speech, no virtue signaling. Cheney’s ‘less-is-more-minimalism’ evoked the gestural art of minimalist masters Dan Flavin and Agnes Martin. Further, there are also concerns within the European-American community that AOC’s use of ‘fuck’ on the House floor constitutes a flagrant case of cultural appropriation. Where one draws the line between tribute and appropriation is a complex discussion. Perhaps if AOC had simply acknowledged her co-opting of white male tropes then it would not call into question her cultural sensitivity. 


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